King of the lab House style
by chaseluv4ever
Summary: A House Bones crossover fic. There is a tornado which puts House and the team in a lockdown. They get bored and begin to talk about Bones. Some uploading difficulties should be fixed soon.


"We should put on a play," said House suddenly Authors Notes: I got kinda sugar high one night and wrote this, so some parts are totally weird. Spoilers for the bones season 3 finale (I might add). Also this is taking place before the season 3 finale of House. Well I hope you all enjoy it….. : )Disclaimer: I don't own House or Bones….. unfortunately

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"We should put on a play," said House suddenly.

"Why?" Asked Cameron

"We're doctors not actors," said Foreman.

"Well I did do some acting in high school," said Chase.

--

Outside the skies were ominous gray. The big somewhat carnivorous cloud was rushing through the sky engulfing things on its way over the Princeton Plainsboro area. This was the worst, possibly only, tornado that this area had ever seen.

Everyone was in lockdown in the area, including Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. House was confined in the conference room with his ducklings. Cuddy and her under wire were making rounds around the hospital to make sure everyone was in their place. They had not exactly had any tornado drills recently or ever, so no one was quite sure what to do or where to be. Wilson and his black razor were monitoring the clinic.

Things were very slow and boring and had been that way for almost an hour. According to Cuddy they would be staying that way for another four at least.

--

"Oh c'mon," wined House, "I'm bored and it'll be fun."

"If your bored take your Vicodin," muttered Foreman under his breath.

"Oh c'mon guys," said Chase, "we'll probably be stuck in here all day. What else could we do?"

"What play would we put on?" Asked Cameron.

"Morning sacrifice," said Chase giving his input.

"Huh?" Asked Cameron sounding confused by the name of the Australian play that Chase just spoke the name of. "Why not Phantom of the Opera?"

"Bones," said House suddenly.

"Joints," said Chase not really sure what they were talking about.

"Ligaments," said Cameron continuing the trend.

"Tendons," Foreman finished.

"No you idiots," cried House, "Bones the TV show."

"Oh," the three ducklings chorused at once. "I love that show."

"So it's settled then," said Cameron, "we're doing a play of Bones."

"Works for me," said Chase.

All heads turned towards Foreman.

"What the hell, fine, why not," said Foreman. "Just don't tell my girlfriend that I did this."

"What characters would we play," asked Cameron rather eagerly.

"Well I personally think that you'd make a great Booth House," said Foreman.

"What!" House gasped. "No way, I am so totally not a cocky as Booth. You're the Booth. I think that I make quite a lovely Brennan."

"Whose Brennan?" Asked Foreman, "don't you mean Bones?"

"See what I mean," said House turning towards Chase and Cameron, "he's totally Booth."

"Who would I be then?" Asked Cameron sort of assuming she would be Brennan.

"Angela," the others replied.

"Your totally Angela," said Chase, "that was like the easiest decision that there was."

"Okay," said Cameron tossing her hair back over her shoulders. "That works."

"Am I Hodgins then?" Asked Chase.

"You… Hodgins?" Asked House laughing hysterically. "No way, he's not enough of a kiss-ass for you."

"That's a good point," said Foreman, "you have to be Zack."

"What!!" Cried Chase standing up from his chair and slapping his fists onto the table. "No way, no way am I being Zack. Not after the season finale."

"Oh, you mean where they kicked him off the show, rather creatively?" Questioned Foreman. "That was absolutely great, I cannot stand that squirmy little twerp of a guy."

"What? Don't say that about Zack," said Chase defensively. "He's way smarter then you are."

"Oh well you know what Zack," said Foreman taking on his character of Booth, "I'm going to leave now and don't stop me. If you call me back in I'm going to shoot," he finished holding up a finger gun.

"Oh, that does it," cried Chase. In the blink of an eye the two of them were in a fistfight.

"Okay, okay break it up," shouted Cameron jumping in between them. "If I had one of those digital enhancer thingies I would recreate this scenario and make it so I was about to give both of you a black eye."

Chase and Foreman took this as their cue to sit back down, at opposite sides of the table.

"You know, this won't work," said Cameron suddenly, "we don't have enough people to put on a play of Bones."

"Problem solved," said House.

He picked up his cell phone. Everyone knew he was calling Wilson.

"Yo Hodgins," they heard House say. There was a pause. "What," said House, "I didn't say anything about Hodgkin's lymphoma. I called you Hodgins from Bones." There was another pause. "Yes the TV show." House cried in exasperation. "Now get down here and help us put on a play before I overdose out of boredom." There was one last pause then House hung up his phone.

Just at that time Cuddy happened to be outside the conference room in the process of making her rounds.

"Cuddy," House opened the door and cried out to her.

She jumped back, startled, when he said that.

"We need a Cam," House said, "now get in here a do it before I break open the window with the whiteboard."

Cuddy franticly rushed into the room and Wilson who had just come running down the hallway walked in behind her and shut the door.

"So how is this play thing working?" Asked Wilson.

"What play?" Asked Cuddy.

"We're putting on a play of Bones," said House, "and you're going to be Camille," he finished looking at Cuddy.

"Okay then," said Cuddy in a sarcastic voice. "I assume you're Brennan," she said to House, "which makes me your boss so I am telling you to let me leave."

House picked up the whiteboard and began to throw it towards the window.

"Okay, okay!!" Shouted Cuddy quickly. "Never mind. So what episode are we doing?" She asked deciding she might as well have fun and go along with it.

"My vote goes for _Pain In The Heart_," said Foreman giving Chase the evil eye.

"Well I think we should do _Wannabe In The Weeds_," said Chase, "I call fat Pam."

"What," cried Cameron, "no we can't do either of those episodes. They're way to sad. I mean how can they kick poor little anthropologist Zack off of the show like that. It doesn't even fit. I mean what happened to his character for the past three years? And Booth getting shot," she continued, "I don't even want to start."

"I know," said Cuddy. "I mean here is Booth all F.B.I and buff and stuff taking a bullet right through the heart. And then the next episode he's fighting cannibalistic serial killers? That's not right. Bullet wounds _do not_ heel that quickly."

"My vote," said Wilson butting in, "goes for _Santa In The Slush_," he finished with a smirk.

"HELL NO!!" Shouted Foreman and House looking at each other then Wilson.

"See House," said Wilson "I knew you'd regret making yourself Brennan. You don't even fit her character. First off she's a girl, second off she's anti-television, third off she's not hooked on Vicodin, fourth off she's nice to her best friend, fifth off she…"

"Whatever," said House stopping Wilson in mid-rant. "I think we should do _Aliens In A Spaceship_."

"WHAT?" Cried Wilson. "You mean the episode where you and me get buried alive, I hurt my leg, then you knock me out? No way."

"Fine," said House. "Hey, Cuddy what about _The Man In The Cell_?"

"You mean the one where I inhale a toxic powder while autopsying Caroline Epps's head? I don't think so."

"We could do _The Girl In The Gator_," suggested Cuddy.

"No," said Foreman. "I don't want to have to shoot a clown then build Gordon Gordon Wyatt a grill."

"We could do _The Man In The Fallout Shelter_," said Cameron.

"Does that mean I have to be Goodman?" Asked Cuddy.

"Yes," Cameron answered.

"Then no way," said Cuddy.

"We could always do _The Girl With The Curl_," said House. "It would give me a chance to go around feeling little girls."

"No," shouted Chase, "I hate beauty pageants."

"Why?" Asked Foreman, "did your dad make you do them?"

"Okay that does it," yelled Chase standing up again.

Within moments he and Foreman were in another fistfight.

"Okay you know what, forget it," said Cameron. "We're not doing _The Girl With The Curl_ because there is no way I'm going on a swing set with Wilson."

Wilson gave Cameron a smirk but Foreman and Chase sat back down.

"Maybe we could do _Two Bodies In The Lab_," said Chase.

"Yeah right," said Foreman. "I don't want to get blown up."

"Why not?" asked Chase. "That's the whole point."

"Okay that does it," said Foreman.

The two of them were in a fistfight for the third time in less than three hours.

"Okay," said Cuddy, "I'm leaving this is stupid."

At that moment two things happened simultaneously. Foreman shoved Chase backwards and House picked up the white board and threw it at the window. Chase ended up falling against the whiteboard giving it more force as it rushed through the window.

The whiteboard ended up flying right through the window shattering the entire sheet of glass.

Before Chase and Foreman could get into another fistfight the swirling tornado came rushing through the window taking the six doctors with it.

As they were being tossed and turned through the blowing dust and gusts of wind Cameron sighed and said, "I'm telling you guys, we should've just done Phantom of the Opera."

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Authors Notes: The End….. hope you guys liked it. Please review and let me know what you think. If people like it then I might do the same type of story with the Bones characters discussing House : )


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